I have NOT been keeping up, not that anyone has noticed or cared, for that matter. My dear friend, Kim, lost her Mom, last week. She had had a heart transplant 16 years ago, when she was 63. That is rather un-heard of. She was traveling and if had been at home in Indy, would have been too old to be considered for the transplant. She happened to be where she qualified. I forget how long she waited out of town, to receive her new heart, but it took a while. I remember that was a hard time on their family and she had a very long recovery. Sometimes, transplant patients do through a rough time dealing with all that has happened and they are so tired, they wish they had just died. I think she experienced a bit of that. She was never the same, energy wise, but she considered all those 16 years as BONUS years to spend with family. She got to know two beautiful grandsons, who happen to be autistic, so she was also a great help, physically and emotionally to my friend, over the years. Her Mom was her best friend, much like my Mom, was mine. The first few weeks, after someone that close dies, it is devistating. You feel like it is surreal... even if they have been ill. The reality that they are REALLY gone, and you will never, in this lifetime, see them or talk to them, again... is overwhelming , to say the least. I used to ache to call my Mom. Just to hear her voice and talk. I would sit by the phone and think about picking it up to ring her. Knowing that was impossible, it was weird. I actually was mad, the first birthday, that went by, and she did not call to sing. I know that sounds irrational, but you just cannot believe that they are GONE. Really gone. And it is so suddent, like a flower being plucked from the ground. One minute you are here, heart beating, breathing, contributing to society in various ways, and the next, nothing. Dishes don't matter. Bills don't matter. You will never consume anything again... you need NOTHING. You take nothing with you. All this material "crap" we surround ourselves with, and define ourselves with, mean absolutely NOTHING. It is a bit overwhelming to come to that realization. And you miss that person so much, it hurts, deep in your soul. I think time helps, but I still miss my Mom to the point I ache. It will be six years on 9/12 and not a day goes by that I do not think of her fondly.